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How Can You Make the Greatest Difference in your family in 2019. . .With Authority or Influence?

 This time of year most of us find ourselves considering some of our goals for the New Year even if we’ve sworn off resolutions.

This may seem even more important if you find yourself in a stepfamily relationship. Most people enter a new relationship with great hope of making a difference and building strong relationships with the step kids. When their greatest efforts are met with rejection, hope quickly dwindles in the face of the hurt, frustration and anger.

The Andersons of Mike and Kim Coaching offer some practical tips for stepfamilies that come from years of their own stepfamily experience and years of wisdom they have gathered from coaching others.

Check out this article “Should Step-Parents focus on Authority… or Influence? Whether you are a stepparent or not, this is great advice for building strong family relationships.

Here’s to building strong families,


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How Do I Set Up My Child for Success at School?

After spending 25 years as a principal at primary, elementary and secondary schools, I have found that it is crucial for the school and parents to work together for the good of the child. There are several mud puddles on the road to success that are easily stepped in. Below are three puddles I have encountered frequently, with some practical suggestions to help you avoid them: Continue reading How Do I Set Up My Child for Success at School?

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20 Years from Now

I have five kids, but only 2 lived with me as babies (the other three were adopted much older). My two “babies” are almost exactly 18 years apart. So many things changed between baby number 1 & baby number 2. In fact, most days, I’m surprised my first baby survived given our parenting. Imagine that we let him sleep on his tummy, had bumpers in his drop-side crip, and faced him forward in the car seat at one year of age. Continue reading 20 Years from Now

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When is my kid ever going to learn to do what I tell him to do?

Many people come to a parenting class to figure out a way to “fix” the problem with their kid. I have to admit, there were times when my kids were growing up that that thought crossed my mind as I scanned the titles of parenting books looking for some new ideas. Continue reading When is my kid ever going to learn to do what I tell him to do?

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What is PBIS: Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports

Modeled after the Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports system used in schools throughout the country, and drawing on the principles of trauma informed parenting, Reset Families will help caregivers discover a strategic approach for parenting that builds strong relational connections while preparing kids to be accountable for managing their behavior.

The insight and practical toolkit this book provides will not only help you make it through the day, but will help you create a family culture and solid foundation that helps your family to thrive rather than just survive. You will find activities and games to help kids feel heard and understood as you work together to create the family of your hopes and dreams.

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Available Now: Reset Families Book

Dr. Sharon Aller has just released Reset Families: Practical Social and Emotional Learning Strategies for the Home.

Parenting is perhaps the most important job you’ll ever have, and it may be the hardest. The way you interact with your kids today will leave an imprint and produce results for generations. What could be more important than gaining tools to be the best parents we can be?

That’s what Reset Families is all about. You’ll walk away from this book with ideas and practical tools to help you end power struggles, have fun and build strong connections with your kids, set clear expectations, and respond rather than react when your kids make poor behavior choices. It prepares you to teach your kids the lifelong skills they need to manage their own behavior, to own their mistakes, repair the damage done, and move on. The result is a balance between relationships and accountability that builds trust and strengthens relationships.

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Improving Family Dinners

Research on strong family relationships consistently has shown that good family communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy family life. Few family traditions can be as helpful in providing opportunities for communication as family meals. Regular conversation in a natural setting helps family members learn the give-and-take of effective communication. Some of the communication benefits associated with family meals are:

  • A regular time to meet each day and talk with each other about thoughts and feelings
  • An opportunity to learn how to ask and respond to questions
  • A chance to share stories and ideas from each family member’s experiences
  • A time to practice manners, listening and taking turns in conversation